...with a sypathetic, bossy three year old.
None of the pirates have to walk the plank. They all get to slide gently down, while we yell "Whee!" so they won't be scared.
The sharks don't eat people. They are nice pink sharks, and you have to help them up the ladder into the pirate ship.
PLUS, I couldn't even be Braid Beard. "Braid Beard is a BIG pirate, Mommy - you are a LITTLE pirate! Don't be sad (lifting my chin up to pat my cheek)... little pirates can have fun too!"