This weekend Cadence had a sleepover with her grandparents. While she was gone I felt so relaxed, so at peace. I spent time playing with the younger kids, getting down on their level, gently instructing them if they did something they weren’t supposed to. I loved it. And I suddenly realized –
I am so ready to rock this mother of two thing.
Yeah, you see the problem?
So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. You see, it’s definitely not which child was gone that made the difference. Cadence is extremely easy to take care of the vast majority of the time. It’s the way I parented while one child was gone that made the difference. And let’s not even compare to the Mama I was with one…
I loved being a Mama. Quite frankly, I thought I would get bored, or frustrated. But I didn’t. And I still love being a Mama. But now I feel guilty so much of the time, like I’m not being Mama enough to them now. And I realized the other day, that’s entirely my own fault. I’m the one who changed, who shifted my focus, who decided that maintaining the same level of housekeeping / project output was more important than spending time with my munchkins. And I don’t like that it changed. So I’m going to attempt to do all the things with three that I had finally gotten used to doing with two.
Like getting down and playing with them.
And reminding them to pick up each toy before getting another one out.
And gently correcting them as they do something wrong, rather than waiting until they’ve already done it to punish them.
And doing fun activities and reading lots and lots of books – not just at bedtime – and going for walks, and playing outside, and having lots of random Bible stories acted out throughout the day.
And just, you know, putting aside all those unimportant projects, and actually paying attention to my kids, I have plenty of time in my day to do this. I just have to actually do it. Time to re-embrace this Mama thing!